Thursday, March 31, 2005

I feel like a frozen fishball

The exam hall was SO COLD that I felt like a fishball which is slowly being frozen. SO COLD! And I was sitting directly underneath the air-con and the air-con KEPT blowing at me. And after I got out from the room and got in touch with the sun, I can practically feel myself "melting", like the blood flow, I seemed to be able to feel it. I am very tired now and even feeling a bit feverish. But Liansi is coming very soon and yup.....cant sleep. Also feel quite uncomfortable to sleep. Like feverish.. I hope I dun need to wrk tomorrow...

Job and money

Every growing adult's concern. For me especially at this juncture. Even though I am still studying, but I am 23 years old already! I know probably for some 23 people, they are still studying and thus kinda ask for allowance from family. Yet at the same time when these asks, another pack of 23 year olds have married and maybe even started their career long ago. Not sure why but these few days have been thinking very much about my responsibility at home. I kinda really DUN WANNA take allowance from papa anymore. If I cant really support my family then at least stop living off them in this allowance sense. Haiz, but I just got informed that my tuition student wanna stop tuition already. Ok la, not super affected cos that amount of income is very little. But still, it's money. I think I really gotta make some serious planning about my finance and plan when can I start to give mum some contribution for home. Though I cant give alot. Must make sure that my finance is stabalized before I ever try doing anything rash. But I seriously think the allowance thing should stop. Yup. Soon. I will probably inform mum about this after my next next pay. At least I still have something to back up and tide over. Yup... Must dong shi yi dian....

God is good but Christians are bad?

By default, all men are bad and that includes all Christians as well. Just that Christians should be (by default) reminded that they are bad and wanna be good. It's a pity whenever you hear certain Christians doing things that are not glorifying to God and which upsets you, and of cos God too. Especially Christians who practise double personalities, who preach enthusiastically and then later, turn around and hurt people. Haiz....... Muz remember ah, people watch us as Christians, not only as a person. Muz be always ready to account to people why you are behaving lydat. That speaks for me too. I am not a very good person either so I muz change. CHANGE!!!!!!

PR EXAM FEVER. DING DONG BELL!

Alright, it's 10.07am now, and I am barely half-prepared for the paper later. There are SO MANY THINGS that Miss Hawabi advised us to learn. LIKE, SO MANY. I can't imagine for things like, 10 reasons why PR professionals use research, 6 reasons why research is necessary, 6 keywords of PR, 8 steps of PR campaign, 11 ways to communicate thru a crisis, 7 communication strategies................................................if don't memorize, HOW TO LEARN!!!!! TELL ME LA! Arghhhh......and those I have stated are just like half of what we should learn. Still alot more. Besides, I am not JUST supposed to memorize the points, for each point, gotta explain too. My gut feel tells me that she will definitely not use all, but what to do? She has already placed the importance on all these. Though all these is ALOT still. Sigh..... Haiz...... God help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yea, thought I would hope to read some of God's word before continuing drilling myself with all these PR PR ding dong bell (alright, thats my nonsensical lingo). This was in today's Our Daily Bread John14: 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. Wah, like......speaks to me so much. "Because I live, you also will live." Today, many of our nicks on MSN centrals around the song, "Because He lives". Really, I muz remember this truth. 22Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?” 23Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. 24He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me. I guess, it means, Jesus showed himself to some, bcos He knows they will love Him. Some do not see Him at all, bcos Jesus already noe, they will not love Him no matter what. Then later in Soul Journey.... Something similar happens when we live dangerously in our spiritual lives. We drift away from God without any noticeable consequences. Assuming that our careless lifestyle makes no difference, we wander further—until a few close calls scare us into renewing our relationship with God. But then suddenly life collapses, and we feel deceived. We turned to God expecting protection but got trouble instead. Slowly we realize that turning back to God doesn’t automatically undo damage that started as a result of bad choices made while we were away from Him. Even more important to realize, though, is that God is more than a spiritual firewall against harm. He has a purpose for His people above and beyond helping us avoid trouble. Through the prophet Isaiah, God told His people that He wanted them to be His partners in protecting others from trouble (58:6). What am I expecting God to protect me from? • How does God want me to help protect others? I hope God will protect me from the evil one. And I am not very sure how does God want me to protect others.............by letting them noe there is this God who can protect them? Ya.....I am going back to study le. My mind is near saturation. God, help me!

hmmm.....

I think I am pregnant. If not why do I experience mood roller-coasters? Awhile ago still relaxed and the next moment depressed and then happy again and then vexed and indifferent all that. haha, so I think I am pregnant. Only pregnant women have mood swings. Huh? ok la.....better dun talk nonsense man. haha....I am not preganant, I do not agree on pre-marital sex and I DON"T EVEN HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOR HUSBAND HOW TO GET PREGNANT???? TUM BOH SIAO XI BOH??? But the mood swing is real de la. It's not like super mood swing, but still quite la, at least I can detect myself swinging from here to there. but ok la, not too bad... haha....regina and I both agree that the PR paper tmr is driving us crazy and when people are crazy, they do and say crazy things. she took an extremely kong bu (horrid or whatever u call that) photo that resembles "the eye" 99.999999% KONG BU OH! Alrighty, sorry for the pregnant thing ah......ignore me. haha... *********************** Blogger is up after a few hours of being down (being down? like depressed? wah I think my English really cannot make it) and I am elated to finally be able to blog! blogging is good at a time like this when u are really tired. can destress *********************** Minxuan and I were chatting the other day at Jurong east Library. An uncle turned around to glare at us every 9 mins even though we kept our volume real low. We were on this topic of what makes boring guys and finally we agree that boring guys are those who have totally no ..... erm, interests in life, like no specific something they like to do or skills they can develop. Like no motivation in life in a sense. She was saying her boyfriend has an interest in Bonsai and fish that kinda thing and another guy commented that her boyfriend is "boring" to be doing such things. That guy subsequently said he likes billard, movie......erm.....shopping? WAH! SO VERY INTERESTING THINGS HE LIKES TO DO! ya, those things are ok. But I somehow feel guys are more attractive when they are more inclined towards something. For example, teaching, architecture, art, filming, cooking, anything! Bonsai also can! So guys who don't, are BORING.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Sian~

Have you ever stolen anything when your were young? I think almost everyone has stolen, at least once. So you fully understand why kids will steal. Yet when now, after you grew up, and you see somebody (like a kid, especially ur family member) stealing, you cant help but still be VERY angry. Like me, now. Have wasted so much time from morning till now. That's the thing with staying at home, like really dun feel like doing anything else. And just now I say I wanna stop meddling around with my template and wanna go study, end up papa came back and I gotta do things for him, up till now. Sian.....still go library? Haiz

Changed my template

Alright, I tried to change my template a lil but it is SO ugly now!!!! pui pui pui pui pui! haha....I don't care le. No time to do more or explore more. Me who is an idiot at HTML!!!! Gotta study...

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Of a whole new experience

I am so super tired now after nearly a day of studying. Though I didnt study straight thru but still very very tired. It's as if all my brain cells are exhausted now and are crying for me to let them rest!!! Alright, brian cells, endure for another while more, mama's gonna write down something important before letting you rest ok? Gave some thought before putting down this entry -- whether it will be appropriate cos not all my friends are Christians (if ever there are people who visit this blog there is) and thus this entry may not be very friendly because they may not understand; also, I was thinking if it will seem sad on my part to write such things Again for I dun wish people to see me as a oh so sad person who always writes sad things. But in the end I decided not to care la! I dun care, this is my blog so I will write anything I want! If you (which means anybody who visits) dun like my writing, then dun visit my blog la, as simple as that. I am not desperate AT ALL for people to visit my page haha, ok la, kidding.....but I shall not hide of the Lord's goodness when things like that happen I am not a sad person for anybody's info, I am just emotional. God created me with more emotions than normal =) ********************** Studied with Mark, Jeff, Shawn, Ruiping and Minxuan today at Jurong East library. Studied for near 9 hours, though in between rested a while for dinner, talked a bit and toilet breaks, but still, FREAKING LONG! Yep, so I am freaking tired now. But I still wanna write this down. Wanted to sleep on my way home on the train, but before that I took out my free Creative Muvo TX FM MP3 player and listened. It was on this song "You are holy (Prince of Peace)". I wanted to sleep. But I realised as I closed my eyes, my ears were listening intently to the words of the song. I couldn't help but cringed as my heart responded to the song. Couldn't sleep anymore and repeated listening to the song again and again. You are holy Have I forgotten that God is holy You are mighty Do I even regard God as mighty in times lke these, have I forgotten as well? You are worthy, Worthy of Praise I will follow I will follow? Am I following faithfully? I will listen I will listen? I listen to God? Do I? I will love You, All of my Days Am I able to do that? To love God all of my days. Do I even continue to love God continuously for one day? I will sing to and worship (You are Lord of lords, You are King of kings) Dear Lord, I have no strength to sing.... Lord....why do I call You Lord, Lord but do not do as so.... The King who is worthy (You are mighty God, Lord of everything) God, You are worthy, but am I treating You as worthy? I will love and adore Him (You're Emmanuel, You're the Great I am) How did I ever show I love and adore Him? Lord You are the GREAT I AM, have I forgotten? I will bow down before Him (You're the Prince of peace, who is the Lamb) I am too proud to bow down, even before my God.. Lord, You were the Lamb who was slain for my sake, have I forgotten that too? I will sing to and worship (You're the living God, You're my saving grace) The King who is worthy (You will reign forever, You are ancient of days) Lord You will, You WILL reign forever. What is my response then? I will love and adore Him (You are alpha, omega, beginning and end) I will bow down before Him (You're my Savior, Messiah, Redeemer and Friend) You're my Prince of Peace and I will live my life for YOU Lord......I am living my life for myself. I am so sorry. Yes....a series of talks (as in I talked to God with each sentence of the lyrics) that continually let me feel I am really guilty before God. I am not living my life rightly as He wants me to live. Yet God is so faithful, He is so creative as well. I really feel God is the most creative being. Somehow after listening to this song several times, the next few songs I listened to are all songs that showed God's majesty, sovereignty, awesomeness, power like Praise Adonai and Hail Jesus You're my King. It was as if, God is like telling me that because I am so "useless" or to put it in better terms, weak, He the mighty God will carry me through and I really just have to trust and depend on Him. Later, so timely, the songs in line were You are so faithful and Constant Companion. God reminded me of His faithfulness, His constant companionship. Though I often often forget about Him, He never ever leave me and followed me through all the pain and foolish acts that I ever did. When I cry, He wiped my tears away. When I am in pain, His gentle hands are on me. God is so real and creative that it left me in awe. The way God arranged the songs to come was really appropriate. If there were any other great composers or music director, it HAS to BE GOD! He created music. He gave us the heart to put it in the nicest order. If God is not the best in music, then who? The sequence of songs was so wondrous that my emotions and thoughts just flowed SO smoothly. This experience that I had on the train, once again, proved to me that Jesus Christ is real and He hears my cry and understands my heart, so much... Jesus....I love you... ************************** If there were anyone who do not share the same faith as I, but yet patient enough to read till this point. I hope you are not put off by my writing. Maybe you guys feel Christians are ever so "holy", but NO, Christians are struggling alot also: like me. I can't help it but to really wanna write this entry...so hope you are not offended in any sense. So funny, I feel as if I am writing to an audience. Ok la....I know quite a couple do come and visit, so probably I have to be responsible. More blogging tomorrow about some things that happened today! =) Very tired and haven't bathed. All the best for my PR Exam!!!! ((=

Monday, March 28, 2005

Photo post again

Yeah papa and mama just came home. End of HOME ALONE! Ok....yeah I still really enjoy being home alone in a sense. Of course if it's prolonged, probably I will get quite sick. Show you some picts that Xiao Mi sent to me just now. Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............Jian Gui Le!!!! Haha...that's me la..was playing the church piano one day after cell group and Xiao Mi wanted to snap a pict of me using his hp, so I decided to gather all my hair in front to prevent him from taking my beautiful face, who knows he snapped the pict anyhow... Yeah, so after receiving that pict....I continue to ask Xiao mi to send me some more funny photos... Here's one more Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Actually not very funny right. But ok la. Her name is Ivy, full time staff at Youth For Christ. I think she is power mama in acting. Very fang de kai...... =)) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Ah min......haha looks like ah gong~ Alright, gotta say the picts from now on makes me scratch my head a bit....like, these picts very funny meh? Image Hosted by The Image Hosting think this is xiao mi's room. I dun think it's his hall Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Xiao Mi's Room Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Is Xiao Mi trying to tell me louis looks funny or the sideview or jacob looks funny or the backview of roger funny? Image Hosted by The Image Hosting errrmmmm......funny ma? Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Xiao Mi's roomie's guinea pig. Xiao Mi spelt it as genius pig.......hahaha Later, the photo sending becomes a series of Xiao Mi's photos....haha.... Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Ah mi~~ Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Cool~ Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Jian Gui no 2 Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Inverted easier to see that it's xiao mi Ok, Tian Jie Jie is stopping here with this extremely horrendous, awful, hideous, ugly, unlovely, unsightly photo, whatever you call that. Warning: The below photo is not advisable for viewing for those who get easily offended or digusted . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Image Hosted by The Image Hosting tata........guess who! To protect the person in the photo, I am not going to tell you who's that! See my nostrils, see my nostrils~~~ lalalalalala~~~~~~

I am VERY HAPPY!!!!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........................................ Just finished one exam paper and had my dinner thus I am so happy, so happy, SO HAPPY!!!!! WWeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee............................... Yayyyyyyyyyy............................................ lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalallalalalalalalala............. Boom boom boom........bbooooooooooooomm..... doi doi doi........ding ding dong dong dong dong dong WHAT? YOU THINK I AM MAD AH???? happy need to act till like that de meh??? Haha......ok la. Met my classmate, Shawn tongue at the exam hall today and he said "Eh tiantian, I read your blog I feel very sad leh." Huh? Why? Why sad? I write very sad things all the time meh??? Huh huh huh? Tell me la? Do I write very sad things all the time? WHERE GOT???????? ya, seriously I don't feel so. Better than last time la, wah lau, last time's blog was like complaining everyday. I know why. Because my blog is too boring, that's why he read liao very sad. So I should act happy......happy happy happy... Fang pi la......I don't act for the sake of acting.....for what? I don't feel I am very sad all the time when I write this blog lei. Ok la....haha no offense la huh, Shawn tongue =)) One paper over, though I dun really know how to do very well, but still, thank God one paper is over!!! Wwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........................

Revision

Alright, it is revision time. I know, I know, the way to study MDIS exams sometimes just plainly involves memorizing but who cares. I am going to type those things I have memorised here. Advantages and Disadvantages Newspaper (4,3): Portable, Can be kept as reference, Permanent, Detailed Cannot be updated, must be educated, news become stale very quickly TV News (3,2): Very convincing (visuals), don not need to be very educated, info can be brought to the homes at any time (very powerful medium) Must sit infront of TV, get carried away by the visuals Radio (5,2): Intrusive, Personal, Illiterate listeners, live, urgent news lose out to TV, only hearing (no visuals and print) Internet (2,1): Broken down walls of politics and culture, assessible from home, international No gatekeepers (dubious credibility and truthfulness) ********************** Hard News News that must be reported immediately (if not may become stale) Time sensitive (if not lose impact over time) Write news report in inverted pyramid style and remember attribution ************************ Press Conference Reporter must do research first or if not go the the organization's research library to search for background info and print out relevant material before attending. Reporter must be well informed on topic in discussion to ask searching questions which have never been answered before. ************************ Ethics Of Journalism MPOCEAACP Misrepresentation (Journalist must identify him / herself) Protecting sources of information (must not give away of promised not to) Objectivity and fairness (undistorted by own bias or emotions and not taking sides) Conflict of interests Economic Pressure Acceptance of gifts is prohibited Accuracy Compassion vs Public's right to know Privacy vs Public's Right to know The First Amendment (to the American Constitution) Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. Free Speech, Religion, Press (without government interferance) The Fourth Estate The three = Legislature, Executive and Judiciary Take on the crucial role of a watchdog Function fairly within the constitutional framewrok and to serve people whose welfare they were created. Style Guide Past Newspaper representative gathered under the auspices of the Associated Press, a world famous news gathering agency and worked out commonalities. Rules = Associated Press Style of writing ********************* Beat System Eg Health Beat etc Beat Leader, to write and come out with calendar Team members to have their own contacts as well who are called beat personnel Scoop = a story which rival papers have not covered. ****************** Rules for headline writing 1) Put the key points into the lead sentence and craft the headline using the lead 2) Use active voice as far as possible 3) Begin headline with a noun 4) Use round numbers esp with big numbers 5) Do not use abbreviations ********************** Interpreting Statistical Material Companies send their annual reports to news organizations every year (they go and look for input editor) do research, look at previous years' reports; look at chairman's message; look at balance sheet, income and expenditure columns; change in no of employees? ************************ Investigative journalism is when a journalist uncover illegal operations and exposed the culprits involved.... *********************** Alright, I think I gotta go bathe...roughly bathe....still haven't read examples on Investigative Journalism and media Manipulation and short notes... God help me!

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Am I very free?

As if I am very free, I still changed my blog skin from this to that and from that to this, again and again. Gotta study now, and I mean right now! Going to send Roger off tomorrow so gotta make sure I finish at least one round of studying now. And tomorrow to reach airport early for second round of studying. And after Roger goes in to do third round before going to Somerset. Wah Roger Goh Foong Heng, haha.........u appreciative or not de? ok la...even if you are not, it's ok... off to study! First Paper tomorrow: Journalism and Newsbroadcasting! May God bless me!

Mr yellow trunks

Alright.... I think I am really bored. Study till really bored so come here and post some nonsense. Went to the infamous yellow webpage yesterday when I was feeling crazy and downloaded some of his videos for viewing. It was ok. Some of those, actually most -- actually all of his videos are very, I would say, silly. I wonder why did he want to make himself look like a fool.....Well, he's not bad-looking, his voice isnt that horrible either. But why cant he portray himself as someone who's sound in the mind rather than going screaming and stripping and coming out with extremely ugly dance moves. That made him look like a maniac. Of course, if he really is not sound in the mind then I am sorry for that is an illness and we should be more compassionate. But if he's totally sound, then why be like a fool? some more a fool who is not funny at all... Anyway, pict of minghui which I feel looks quite funny but she said it looks normal Image Hosted by The Image Hosting tata.....back to studying. I am getting a lil sleepy

Wow!

Hehe....I just fried myself a plate of fried rice that is so nice that I start to marvel at my culinary skills. Mmmm......Yummy....... Fried Ikan Bilis, add in cut sausages. Put your rice in and then your desired seasonings. I put, soya sauce, dark soya sauce, pepper and sesame oil! And finally when you can smell it, add in the tomatoes and the fried eggs and the final garnishing some spring onion. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............................. Haha....normally if can, actually should stir fry some onion first and ya, I dun like garlic so I dun put garlic. But if you want it fast, then maybe can save the cutting of onions and all cos that takes quite a bit of time. Normally I would like to add a bit of cai bu (what do I call that in English, it's some preserved veg), stir fry it and add choppped chilli, stir fry as well. So that my rice will be spicy... yum yum ((=

Saturday, March 26, 2005

What I learnt in cell group

Reached home for quite awhile le, after cell group. I must not miss a session. For the sake of the PDL campaign, for the sake of God too. Something in cell today, struck me very much. One question in the book asked "What is God's greatest priority for your life?" And the reference for this question is Matthew 22:37 "Jesus said to him, "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." ya! Did I miss it all these while? God's greatest priority for my life is to love Him! If I love Him, I would honor my parents in my speech and actions for God teaches us to love our parents (of cos this love that we have for our dear parents is not fake). If I love God, I would be more controlled and hate sin for I do not want to grieve Him nor do things that He doesn't like. If I love Jesus, I would remember what matters most to Him. The lives of people. If I love Him, I would treasure Him and treasure His word. I would cherish Him like He's the greatest treasure ever given to me. And Indeed God is. He is worthy to be treasured. In God encompasses all things, and if I make loving Him my priority, all other things will fall in place. Love HIM. That's His priority for me. Anyway the verse in context is Matthew 22:36-40 "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?" Jesus said to him, " "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.'This is the first and great commandment. 39And the second is like it: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." What beautiful verses.. Really, if we do wrong, how can we (or at least for me) bring ourselves to even lead? Sometimes, it goes to the extent that we cant even bring ourselves to come before God. Sometimes we may forget too, that our sin is not done in secret. Other than God knows, some people may somehow know it one day too...

Shattered....

Image Hosted by The Image Hosting and..... Image Hosted by The Image Hosting What is the relationship between them? Answer: One is before breaking and one is after breaking. Hmmm....was using this plate to put my pack of mi fen on, this morning so that I can hold it (hold the plate and eat the mi fen) while doin things on comp. After I finished eating, I put the plate and the finish pack on my towel which I half hanged it on a table beside my comp (ok maybe its hard to picture but I dun care). Was kinda in a daze cos of some things and SUDDENLY........ppppiiiiiiiiii-------lianggggggg..... the towel somehow slipped off the table onto the floor and with it the plate dropped to the floor as well! I was so super shocked as if waking up from my daze. I was so stunned I stared at the pile of broken pieces for a good 47 seconds. Finally after 47 seconds, I logically went to wear a pair of clean slippers and went to the kitchen to get a broom and dustpan to sweep up the mess. Good thing mama's not at home. I can't imagine why would the broken glass fly so far away. Broken pieces practically dispersed like 5 metres away from the spot where this incident happened. All around the spot for a diameter of 5 metres, I can find small broken shattered glass pieces. Alright.....It takes quite a lot for someone who is in a daze to wake herself up to sweep broken plate pieces. As I was sweeping (and after that vacuumed), I thought of a man's heart which may be well like this plate. If handled without care, the effect will be disastrous. I dunno, I thought this is the first time I see a plate being shattered. The last few times when I broke a plate, normally it just broke into like 2 or 3 pieces. Alright, at most 5. Now this plate broke into, like, 50 pieces? Image Hosted by The Image Hosting this is a closer view of the pieces. There really are 50 pieces. At least, I guess. Ok, back to the human's heart. When shattered, the aftereffects affects many around you. So, yup, handle the human's heart with care. Don't be shattered like my plate, or like my heart....

不可能

不可能 我要 牢牢的记住 !!!!!!!!!!!! 是不可能的!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 不可能 不可能 不可能 不可能 不可能 不可能 不可能 不可能 不可能 不可能 永远 都不可能!!!!!

Thursday, March 24, 2005

The Art of learning how to treasure....

Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Just read Rachel’s Blog. I think she can write really well. Not like mine which stays on at Primary School Level. Only read her last two entries on this same guy whom we know and who is going through a period of grief now. She writes so well that I am nearly moved to tears. But I guess also because I know who she is talking about. And I can imagine the guy’s grief… Haiz….. Hey brother…..I am not able to write that well….I may not connect that well with you too. But I will still be here for you as long as you need a friend. This incident of his, just led me to ponder over relationships. Sometimes you treat certain people as though they will live forever. But of course the reverse works as well, that some treat you as though you have endless tomorrows. They don’t treasure you. This means you don’t treasure some as well. The art of learning how to treasure. Takes a lifetime. Does it? Though our relationship is not the same as like him and her, but sometimes you wonder why you are being treated like trash. And what’s the point in even trying for someone (or some people) who treats you like trash… Ok, I am getting emotional again ********** Went to that webpage and downloaded some pictures. Typed in “pain” as the keyword and it returned this as one of those options. Looks pretty nice, it’s a National Geographic picture. Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Maybe it is saying when one is in pain……that person will tend to shut oneself off. Other nicer pictures…..though also got many psychotic pictures like this clipper thing going to “giap” a nipple and many pictures with expressions of toothache, stomachache etc. Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Image Hosted by The Image Hosting pain because of dejection………. Oh and then I found a pict which showed, supposedly, Jesus being crucified on a cross. Still, people remember Jesus’ crucifixion as painful. Perhaps not only physically but also on God’s heart, to send His Son to be crucified on the cross for a pack of people who dun even appreciate him. Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Comes just in time for the Good Friday tomorrow. Hmmm….. Do I remember to be grateful for His crucifixion? ………………………..

Of Exams and Aspiring Blog Stars

I am VERY much in the mood of exams right now. So I guess I can talk something about exams i.e. school. There was this guy whom I got to know in my first semester. He was just like a little brother to me. We even studied together during the last exams. However, things turned super odd. During this term, we SUDDENLY stopped talking. He was the one to act weird first, in my point of view, and I acted weird to him too as a result. You just know it. When people’s eyes don’t want to meet yours when they walk pass you, when they turned towards your direction and probably smile at your friend beside or behind you, but not you. I a bit feel I am too busy to be bothered with such people. Anyway I tried smiling to him before but his gaze never even meet mine, what can I do? Anyway during this exam, I heard he studied with my friend, who is quite hardworking de. Well, really 知人之面不之心。。。Let it be….anyway I know what kinda person he is now. It’s never too late to know what kinda person somebody is….knowing is better than not. This guy is probably only interested in people who got 利用价值 to him….. Another friend. Sometimes I feel I really cannot stand her. When you are studying and all or busy or wat, she just kept msging you to ask this or that. Sometimes just gets on my nerves. Anyway, God help me….to be more patient. ********* I find it quite funny when I see people trying to write all sorta stuffs on their blogs to try to impress people or anything along that line. It’s even more funny when they try to associate themselves with star bloggers in some imaginary online blog war and then at the other moment, when receive bombardments from star bloggers’ fans, go squirming “Ohhhhh….That’s not what I meant” etc etc. It is VERY stupid, may I excuse me. It doesn’t seem capricious in any sense, that suddenly she changed her mind about the star blogger. It just seems very fake and stupid…. Some way to change how quick the number of visits on her meter will change that entire kinda thing… I just feel she enjoys attention and definitely aspires to be a star blogger too. Then why not admit it…instead of being pretty hypocritical. I can faint… ************* Alright, perhaps I am being a lil too critical. Anyhow….My views they are.. Ok back to happier things. Picts picts! My Beloved OWen TAN!!! J Image Hosted by The Image Hosting So cute! Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Hehe…..trying to act cool huh Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Do you see that little dimple on the right? =)) I love guys who got dimples. Owen is so cute. His English is so good yet he converses with him mum in Mandarin. Effectively bilingual. Makes people even fonder of him. Well behaved also. Haha~~

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Random...

Just cleaned up my room a lil. Vacuumed and threw away the thrash. Going to change the sheets later I am pretty determined to get a mini vacuum cleaner for my room (convenience sake so that I can vacuum as and when I like instead of the big and bulky one), a new fan (for the present one has really bcame lousy. Highest speed yet it's still very warm), new wardobe, new cupboard and a (or two) pictures at Ikea, of flowers. Yep. And two new quilt covers. The Ikea sale is now on... Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Hmmm but.....I don't have much money lei... ************ I suddenly remember about this incident, that of which when my teacher commented about my work. We were supposed to think of a storyboard for a commercial and he commented that my idea was not that fantastic enough. Ok la....I know we have to readily accept comments but seriously, I can't help but skeptically feel what is considered as fantastic in his point of view. Sex, condoms and more sex? That of which he was so amused by a few of my classmates the other time when they presented condom ideas? Hmm I dunno....such things are really subjective. Anyway, I take pride in my work as long as I know I put in the best of what I can.

Revision Proper...

Haha I am online again... Going to start revision proper le on Journalism and News Broadcasting (my first paper! =)). Really! Now my status on MSN is BUSY. Haha....to prove my seriousness on revising. Here's the tuition project outing flyer that we had. The first ever so nice flyer for tuition project outing. Quite pro I feel compared to those previous only words one which we had. Designed by our dear Roger again. Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Ya....next time dunno who can design le. Now that he should be opting out. Anyway =) God will provide Hmmm I am so procrastinating. I should be mailing out things de like the letter to him, the cards to him and her...and the GIRO application to TheBoard..... And my room is so messy. Better but not clean and conducive enough to study well. Maybe I should set aside some time later to do such things.. Hmm.....then better don't waste time le

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Surprise!!!!

wah I cannot believe it. She and him are together????????? Wah..........haha i CAN faint. Eh? Why am I still doing here. I thought I'm tired?

Extreme Tiredness.....

Image Hosted by The Image Hosting I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO tired I feel like a dog. Image Hosted by The Image Hosting PLEASE. Let me sleep well tonight. No more weird dreams. No more waking up at 4 or 5 am whatsoever ever ever after..... Ciaoz Image Hosted by The Image Hosting

Tiredness and Cruel videos

How ah? I am so tired. Like, super tired. Haha....what am I talking about? Exams coming so soon, still I haven't studied. Hmm, today's Tues already. I have wasted two days of a week. So sian... Just watched this very cruel video showing some China people whatever slamming some animals onto the ground one by one until they lay jerking a bit before their ordeal. Then these people proceeded on to chop off their legs and skin them alive. .................. Actually everyday, people around the world are doing such things. Doing things that we cannot really comprehend. That is why men can really be up to things that we'd never imagine. Because we love and cherish sin so much. And those who are ignorant of this fact go on everyday growing their friendship with sin. *cringed* Probably people like me have seen too little of the world really. Out there, people do things that I can never imagined. Just like the militants who practically saw off the Korea guy's head... I was SO disturbed after watching that video. How can one person kill another who is just like himself.... Sigh......

Just feel like posting picts......

The more I look at this blog, the more boring it looks. I dun like I dun like. I can only try by posting picts....
[Edited: Haha...I knew it. Using "I" as captions for those photos when I (as in the real me) is not inside the photo is pretty confusing. Ya la....I just pretended I am one of those persons inside the foto. Much confusion that Grace asked me whether this blog is mine even. See, the confusion it creates. Well after much considerations I have........decided to write two sets of captions.....haha siao leh) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting I'm flying..........................................
(Left: Belinda Right: Minghui) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Whoop~~~~~~~~~~~~~~your fist sends me flying too...
(Left: Minghui Right: Huimin) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting We are loving family........sisters forever.
(Left: Regina's best friend (Dunno her name) Right: Regina) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Sorry, this is not a Mascot Costume. It is a jacket.
(By Courtesy of Regina. Haha...)
Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Me and my beautiful mei mei
(Cruise and his sister, Venise (nice name =)) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting 纳闷
(this cool man is Junhao) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting I am Wakeboard girl, friend of Wonder Woman, Elasti girl and Super Woman.
(this is ah gek la...tan gek, the fiesty mama haha) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting *winks* want a drink?
(Yep really sexy I feel. Her name is Corina and she's residing in Australia now I think. She changed so much from her little princess image back then in PHS) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting What? WHAT WHAT WHAT??
(Her name is Jacquelyn and we always call her Jacq. My senior in SRJC ODAC. She's that kinda girl whom I really like. Cool, funny and not act cute) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Nonchalence. Or will you prefer Aloofness.....?
(Her name is Letitia, got to know her thru one business module back then in NUS. That module is called Emotions in Interactive Process I think. End up talking mostly about emotions in corporations. Anyway, I like her too. Though not on a personal level. I like her style, her attitude. She wears clothes that are really nice. She and her sisters hand made accessories to sell, I think. How cool? =) Too bad we didnt click somehow, maybe bcos I am more cheena and she more Angmoh =)) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Halo....mum mum....meemee....momo...agahaha...
(Shao's nephew la....Luke =)) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Dun say ours is a shot gun ok. What's the problem in getting married at 22. My mum got married at 16.
(my pair of friends who got married the earliest, Jicksern and Sianwei or Esther) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Take 2 Image Hosted by The Image Hosting used to
(ok, really don't feel like elaborating much for him...) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting nice. =))
(The pict is Wendy, my secondary school friend. She graduated from Temasek Poly and is now a freelance designer I think.) Image Hosted by The Image Hosting North South East West who's the best. Mi mi mi mi is the best.
Mimi, mimimi, mimi mimi, MIMI!
(my dear xiao mi! =) Chai Heng la) Yep......I realise I am not consistent in writing. For awhile I used "I" when that pict wasn't me and I am speaking as the one in the photo. The next moment I come back to myself again and "I" this time round really refers to myself. Eh these fotos are from different resources. Mostly from friendster, my friends' fotos. Haha wonder isit very rude to just post up their picts like that. Well, the very fact that they put their picts on the web, means that they should have expected people to do funny things to them ,right? Well, who cares.

My DEAREST papa and mama~~

When they went Thailand last Dec holidays Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Image Hosted by The Image Hosting

I can't believe it....

That I'd have a second nightmare consecutively in 2 days..... It IS quite disturbing. I dreamt that a flood covered the whole earth. However this flood wasnt that kind which IMMEDIATELY covers the whole earth i.e. ALL AT ONE GO; it was that kind which was gradual -- killing out areas and areas before the water flows out further. Well, even now as that I TRY to illustrate the dream sends shudders through me... Me and some other people (I have totally no impression who) were among the last to be "killed". The flood moving toward our area. We knew from the television broadcast that many were dead, like the whole region swept out. Strange enough, dreams aren't logical, cos despite the flood we still get to see TV news. Either that, or I really cant remember my dream in full detail. It's like that one what! Knowing the flood is moving toward you is like knowing that death is knocking on your ajar door, you have no choice, whether you want to open or not to open the door, the door is already opened (ok am I making sense?) for it CAN get in, you have NO CHOICE. Somehow, you have to even "welcome" death, there is nothing you can do but to face it. Waiting for the water to reach you is one thing. And when the water finally reaches you, and waiting for the level to slowly rise until it covers the whole of you is another matter altogether. It's a sense of TOTAL HELPLESSNESS. Maybe there will even be a last resort of illusional life saving attempt by trying to cling on to higher objects. But it doesn't help. No matter how high you go, you will still die. Hey I really dunno.......who can face death in stride, may I ask? At least for me, when I know that I will soon die, I cant help but imagine how I will die. I was imagining, ok in the water, either I die of drinking in too much water, or I hold my breath until I die. Drinking water to die also encompasses breathing in water. I guess when your lungs are filled with water and lack of oxygen, the next thing that will happen is that your breath will stop.... It certainly doesn't feel good. The feeling of suffocation. I remember in the dream, I told myself there is another alternative I can take. I can ask God to take my life away first before all those sufferrings of not being able to breathe and all. But whether it will really happen is another thing. How does it feel like before the minute that you end your breath......? In all ways.....natural or unnatural death... Morbid.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Loving people = taking care of their possessions

I dunno.....feel really bad now bcos I think I may have lost Liansi's songsheets. Such a big bag and the WHOLE bag is gone. Indeed odd. But probably also my bad habit to not tidy up my things..... sigh....find again?

My Beautiful Advertising Coverpg =)

Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Everyone must say it looks nice. No one's supposed to say anything bad! Wonderfully Designed by my beloved friend Roger =)) Come to think of it, he really had helped alot many times. Same goes for the rest......who helped =)

Saturday, March 19, 2005

hmm feeling a bit sad (again?)

Just back from cell group.. Hmm.....dunno.....did something wrong today and felt terribly bad about it. Though it's not the first time I am doing something wrong, but it's the first in so long that I feel bad and sorry about things. I guess probably concurrently I am also thinking about other issues which require me to settle. Which saddens my heart too. That is why. Anyway.....I am emotional and I try hard not to be le...

Good Morning~ =))

Alright, it's 5.53am now and I am awake. Hmmm I wonder why I feel so unwell sleeping. Possibly because my bed is full of clothes. Going to fold the clothes later though, after helping papa to do things.... I still cannot find that bag which has all Liansi's songs....cannot be lost ah, if lost, then I will lose my trustworthiness as a person too. I realise that I REALLY blog too long. That's somethng that I have to admit which is quite uncalled for. The tendency to rattle on, is not very pleasing to the eyes on the internet. Especially if EVERY entry is like that. Yup, will take note. Even not for the sake of others also for the sake of myself (people are selfish, they always try their best to reduce their discomfort) cos even me, who takes pride in my work (most), couldn't bear reading super long entries one after the other. Gets so tiring..... ************* Some people in your life, you will just consider them tiresome. It's not that you do not love them, it's just that at that moment, you really dislike them and they are tiresome, as according to me. And I don't like to bother about tiresome people. Yet, at other spurs of the moment, you realise they love you, as much as you love them too. However, pride then is an issue. Being considered as tiresome is pretty sad. Wonderlust sets in at times like these. Just feel like going some other country to see how things are like....to experience their culture....to get away

Friday, March 18, 2005

An angry email and the last day of school

Today is the last day of school and I am pretty happy seriously. Cos that means the end of "misery" haha.....no la, it means moving on to a higher level and I am looking forward to learning new stuffs. However, an incident happened today left me very very displeased. It all started from a TheSchool's consultant walking in talking to us about the advanced diploma to sign up blah blah blah. After he left, Linda suddenly turned around and asked whether I know that if I withdraw from the package (the diploma, adv dip and degree package. Cos initially I signed up for that ma), that no refund is possible. I suddenly have a vague impression of receiving a letter from TheSchool a few days ago saying I cannot get a refund but the withdrawal from adv dip and degree has benn processed. ............................... ............................................ ........................................................ ............................................................... ??????????????????????? WHAT!!!???!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAH I was so shocked. My mind then moving very quickly..ok I muz call Sharifah, I muz call Sharifah. I quickly flipped my book to the front, found her number, and dialled at the highest possible speed I could and trying to remain calm..... "Oh, then you must reply to that letter to appeal for a transfer to the adv dip...................." blah blah blah la.....that was part of the conversation. That line was obviously from her. Anyway I am so displeased. I am so........hey 2000 dollars eaten up by them if they dun refund leh. two thousand u noe. u think what ah!! Ok, the moment I stepped home. Not really the moment la......after I bathe and ate and all. I typed this email. Dear StudentCoordinator, In reference to the letter from TheSchool received on 15 March 2005 (Ref: ET-1-1 DMCD2 0430A) regarding the non refund of fees, I would like to make an appeal to transfer the remaining fees onto the advanced diploma level. When I signed up with TheSchool, as advised by my consultant, FemaleConsulant, fees can be refunded if halfway through I decide to withdraw at certain levels. Thus, I signed up for the package despite being hesistant at first. In October last year, I also enquire with you about the refund and was told it was possible to get back my balance of fees. However, in receiving the letter, it proved not to be so. Being a student who was very sincere in pursuing an education with TheSchool, I am afraid the discrepancies left me much disappointed with the system, especially the promises made by the consultant to ask to sign up and now all the matters about not being able to refund. This is an appeal, thus, to transfer the remaining amount that I have paid in my first payment to a new advanced diploma course and any balance with which I would top up. I hope this appeal is possible and if in any case not possible, that an arrangement can be made to meet to explain. I would like to clarify also that I am signing up for the advanced diploma course and not inclusive of the degree program. Today, MaleConsulant came in and told about the possibility of starting the advanced diploma in April upon OCU's approval. My preference if my appeal is successful is to start my advanced diploma in April. Would appreciate your help in forwarding my email to the concerned party. Thank you. Tim Tim ******************* ok la.....enough about stupid things in life. I hope I learn though. Image Hosted by The Image Hosting Alright, this is a happy thing enough. I still remembered the first day when I went to class, I was praying really for friends. Not like NUS, that I went through the years without a friend whom I can feel comfortable with. It's always nice to know that certain emotions are mutual =))